I want to do what I want to

Really.. I want to do what I want to! Guess I what I did today. It sound crazy but it is true and no one know about it. Hahaaha...However I like it...

I am sick!

What the test!! I'm sick!! I think I am going to die soon.....
I have no moooooodddd.. In fact today is my birthday! I need some rest!!

Wake Up Early

I am making myself damn busy. Today I want to have a shower early and arrive to work early. I don't want to make my job in this room because it only make me feel sleepy. After shower I intend to have some breakfast and directly go to my office!! I will buy some pastries too.

Went To Yani's House

I went to yani house. I can feel that they enjoy their life. Unlike me. I am always thinking how sorrow my life is. And yes, that is true. I have no idea what I should do instead. There is sadness in my life due my weaknesses and disability.

I am sick. I need some encouragement

yes. it is really I am. I am so sick and I wish I could do better. Not only in life but also here after. Ya Allah please help me. I am in confuse mode. May be I should concentrate with my work and job. Stay focus and learn how to take the oppurtunity. I need a counselling. Or I can spend my time with learn a new thing everyday.

Doing a shit last night

What an ashamed. I am doing it again last night. I am just can't sleep and I think I know how to explain it. I drink a lot of caffeine. Then if I want to wake early tomorrow. I have to avoid the caffeine. Just a drink a plain water is enough actually.

Damn Tired But Cant Sleep

I am in a damn tired, But the problem is I cant sleep at all. I try But I just can't. I wont masturbation because it give a really a bad impact to me. It is dangerous and it fucking myself. I have a walk after an office hour. I am walking around the courts while memorizing the lyric for the 3 song. I do enjoy it. And I want to repeat the same routine tomorrow with a new lyric and song. Apart from that what I have done today is I recite a sura yusof in in between maghrib and isya'. It is a great achivement for me. I learn recite by myself. What else, yeah about car. I really tired with this one. It really challenging. Yesterday I felt like I dont want to live anymore. I am give up and really down. But today I have some confident and enjoy my life. Life is very weird. I begin to talk to others. My main problem now is I didn't start my research paper. I am such a lazy person. I am still in excited mood by having a car. I try to google my name just name. Yes, I have some hits. I feel really tired may be I should sleep now.